Is it sadness making you gasp for air?

Few days ago, when I went to a nearby park for a walk, I saw two little kids running towards the park while their mom was walking behind them. Suddenly, both the kids started shouting Swacch Bharath and started picking up few unattended paper cups and chips packets on the foot path near the park. Their mother was a bit annoyed and asked the kids not to touch those.  However, the kids very happily picked up the stuff and dropped in the dustbin nearby. She smiled for what her kids have done and she appreciated them too. I could understand the mother’s initial reaction coming out of concern for her kids and their cleanliness. Looking at this, I started thinking how pure and joyous their souls are, what a high vibration they carry. They want the whole place to be clean and neat. They didn’t even bother to think if it is safe for them to touch those unattended stuff on the road. We too were that pure when we were kids, why do we change while we grow older? We should have become more purer and more joyful, but we don't. Without a doubt I can say, we all try to give physically Swacch home for our kids, but are we giving emotionally Swacch home for our kids?

Asthma is such a scary term that I can relate to, most of my life till date. Since my childhood, I have been associated with someone or the other who had Asthma, from childhood friends to aunts or other relatives. I loved my aunt so much, I always used to ask her as why doctors are not helping her to get over asthma and why is it that she always have to use an inhaler. I was told that there is no cure for asthma and she had to struggle with it whenever there is an attack. I used to feel very sad and scared for her seeing her Asthma attacks. As a child, I wished there is a permanent cure for my loved ones. I felt an answer to my wishes was found when I started intuitive healing, helping people with respiratory issues.

Recently, a fair, smart, lean, chocolate looking boy was brought into my office with a complaint of Asthma. I was a little surprised looking at dark circles under his eyes and asked the guardian to wait outside till I complete my discussion with the boy. The boy was a little hesitant initially but after a while he opened up and discussed about his family, friends and school. He was so very attached to his mom and can't imagine life without his mom next to him even for a minute. But mother is very busy with her household chores, managing her job and fighting her own battles in the family. I could clearly see mother was not emotionally available to the boy. Father was in a big corporate job and was always busy. He hardly had time for anyone in the family forget about this little boy. The boy would never go out to play in the ground as he is busy completing his homework before his parents would arrive home so that he can spend some time with them. But the parents would come home after a hectic schedule and want to relax in front of TV. It is most common situation in many families where both partners are working to give their children good life style and education. In the process, children may end up feeling that parents are not available to them emotionally.

This boy also took a lot stress and anxiety due to difference of opinions between family members. But being a small child, he couldn't express himself to anyone but to keep all the emotions in his small little heart. At his age, obviously he couldn't complain to parents they are not available for him, he couldn't express how sad he feels when his grandparents, his father and mother have difference of opinions with each other. Children emotionally pick up mother's sadness and stress too. All this sorrow and grief was stored very carefully in his lungs. With all the sadness chocking him, he started having asthma attacks. Imagine we are stuck in an elevator due to power cut, within just few minutes we gasp for fresh air and can't breathe properly. Imagine the plight of a kid who is gasping for air sitting in his own home just because he is feeling chocked with all that confused emotions of sadness and grief.

Asthma is very troublesome condition, those who suffer from it gasp for breath and it may lead to fatal situation if not addressed. Mostly, it is managed with medication and inhalers. There are some good medicines available now, compared to few years earlier. For most patients I have seen, it started with mild breathing issues or allergic reaction to environmental pollution. Emotionally, people who hold their sadness and grief without letting it out are more prone to respiratory illness like asthma. Another common factor I see across most of my asthma clients is, they easily feel overwhelmed with life. They feel they cannot handle many things in life. I have a friend who used to get really stressed out with deadlines and invariably have an attack just when her project is due for submission. If we look deeper, both the issues stem from lack of emotional support and stable environment in childhood.

My aunt whom I love most, she too had a sad and stressed childhood, although not in a joint family but nuclear family. Mother and father were continuously fighting with each other. Her mother and father separated and she was handed over to the nearest relatives for upbringing. She couldn’t get any love from her biological parents and the place where she grew up gave her discipline but not love. All her sorrow and grief have gone into her lungs and her physical body responded by presenting her symptoms of Asthma at a very young age.

Asthma can be corrected and healed if the kids are given appropriate emotional environment. Even as adults, we do not allow ourselves to feel our sadness. We all want to feel only happiness. But we need to recognise, life is a mixture of both happy and sad experiences and both have to be accepted in our lives. It is easier for mature adults to understand this truth and allow themselves to feel all their emotions. It is definitely much more healthy and less stressful than fighting with whatever emotions life brings up. For children, apart from giving them emotional support and love, we can teach them all emotions are equally valid and important, there is no need to suppress any of them. With right training, it is not difficult to adopt this attitude at an younger age than after reaching a ripe old age. If we tell an elderly Asthma client to allow and let go of their emotions, feelings and experiences pertaining to their childhood, imagine how painful it is to recollect those childhood memories can be for them? Mostly, the memories just left impression on subconscious but cannot be recollected and it gets harder to work on those emotions now.  

As parents, we do recognise it is kid’s birth right to have an emotionally, mentally and physically a swacch home. All of us want to give our presence, attention and  emotional support for our kids to lead a healthy life. But very few of us can manage to do it in our hectic lifestyles. Is it that difficult, if we make that a priority and act with a cool head? Now honestly, don't you think it's much easier to make a kid happy with you than any adult? Their faces light up even with a small caring gesture or a small gift as token of our affection. If nothing else, spend a few friendly minutes to listen to their stories from school with your complete attention. I would also suggest parents to encourage their kids to go and play in the open grounds. This would help children to have better immunity system, they are exposed to fresh air that would rejuvenate their entire physical body, they would be able to perform better in their studies and have better health.  

In all those cases, where there is Asthma in children, family members have to relook at the emotional and mental support kids are receiving at the tender age. For those people who have crossed their tender age, there is a need to look into all the emotional factors in the present, as well as the past, that are causing the asthmatic situation. If you ask me, 'prevention is better than cure' applies here most aptly. All it takes is, to allow yourself to feel sadness and grief when it comes up, without any resistance or judgement. And also just relax into life as it comes to you. You will not face breathing issues any more

Medical Disclaimer: Ignoring Asthma can lead to dangerous situations including death. The above discussed are some of the emotional reasons for Asthma from the author’s experience. This is no replacement to medical attention / assistance. Please consult your doctor for medical help.

Ramakrishna Maguluri
Engaging with life
ELAI
engagingwithlife@yahoo.com