A conversation can always lead to an argument. And when there is an argument... there won't be any winners. That is the reason why our elders have always warned us against arguments. Repentance is oftenthe end result of an argument. It would hurt our character, our ego and our relation. But we are humans and we might sometimes land in thesoup of a heated discussion. A few reminders might lead us through such an argument...

Never argue with the strangers:

You might protest anyone being uncivilized and harmful. But don't argue over trifle things with a stranger. How often we see an argument turning into a fight in a bus! It might be a scene of amusement for the co-travellers, but can be really embarrassing to those involved. We never know who the other one is, we never know how far the argument might lead us. So when you wish to argue with a stranger, just answer yourself - Is the matter worthy to be an argument?

Never argue in a bad mood:

You have just entered your home from the office and your wife says something that ignites you. On a cool day, you might have probably seen the lighter side of the issue. But today was a tough day with your boss, and you are ready for another fight. Such might be a situation where you loose your charm. It's better to call off the day and postpone the argument over the cup of a tea, the next morning. Thesame would be the suggestion if your partner is in a bad mood. Lethim/ her cool down, before a discussion.

The language:

It's the language we use that represents our character. People often tend to be abusive while being in an argument. Because at one point of the argument, it turns out to be an ego clash. And both involved in the argument try to hurt the ego of the opponent. People insult each other with every word that's possible... and that's where our language turns foul.

Those History classes/clashes:

It's a silly thing that we do over an argument. We recall every single mistake our opponent has done over years. It almost looks like the long borne grudge that we are spilling. We look back into our past, bring the filth from it, analyse it and feel proud that we've got a weapon to fight with. We often raise the weak points in the life of our opponent, and hurt him deep.

You need not be a bad boy:

Well! Arguments do occur. Sometimes they do turn ugly. But you can always be yourselves during such situations. You need not blowup to prove your point. You can use harsh words, with calm tone. You can present strong objections with cool mind. One thing that an argument does- it brings the beast out of an angel! So watch out the beast within you. Don't let it handle the situation.

Finally... when you feel that an argument is turning and churning into a storm, you better ease the situation. A few calm words, a phone call in between, a permission to leave or even an apology would certainly save the relation.

Nirjara