Man is a social animal. He has to depend on others for co-existence. We might have to request someone for a work to be done, or we might have to heed someone's request. Whatever might be the case... the obligation proposed should not result in repentance. And that is the reason why we should learn to say NO! We all might have faced the same situation... when we had said `yes`, though we should have said a straight `no`!
Why don't we say it?
* We fear that our relation might be spoiled, as the person who is expecting something from us might get hurt after hearing our denial.
* We are too sensitive that we hesitate to say a blunt NO!
* We suspect that, we might need the help of that person in future and such opportunities would be lost after our refusal.
* We feel guilt that the other person is at the risk of a loss, if we don't help him.
* We wish that our reputation of a `good boy` should not be spoiled.
How should we say NO!
* Don't be haste to say either `yes` or `no` after hearing a request. Take some time depending on the situation. It might be a matter of minutes in some cases or might need a few days. But get enough time to take a perfect decision.
* Forecast the consequences. Analyse the request, think about the action needed on your part, weigh the results, consider your priorities and say NO if you are sure of a definite loss.
* Be polite while you say no. Try to be as humble as you can be. Use the phrases such as `I wish to do it ... but`; `I'm sorry, I can't do it right now`.
* Let your denial be brief. Prolonged explanations might make things worse. Such huge explanations reveal your low confidence and let others think that you are trying to slip away.
* A request might not end at your initial refusal. The other person might be persistent to have a positive nod from you. So be firm on your decision.
* Most of us make a mistake after a denial. We commit for a future obligation. `OK! I will certainly think about your request if you need the same help in future! ` would be our assertion. That in fact might itself turn into an obligation which you cannot evade. So don't commit unless you are sure of justifying your commitment.
- Nirjara
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