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    Funny Interview Jokes

     Funny Interview Jokes

    (Read it and enjoy)

    *******************************************************************

    Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

    Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication

    engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

    **************************************************************

    Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never

    heard of this college before!

    Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission

    into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th.I

    was getting a paid seat in a good college.

    But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of

    money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on

    you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao

    Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

    *********************************************************************************

    Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your

    engineering.

    Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know ,

    these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is

    difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 +

    2 = 7 years.

    **************************************************************************

    Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

    Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to

    keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really

    affect exams a lot. I think they ! should ban it.

    *************************************************************************************

    Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

    Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

    **********************************************************

    Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

    Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought

    I would complete it.

    In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in

    BEST(Bus corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative...

    ***************************************************************

    Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

    Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself

    was so much of pain!!

    ************************************************************

    Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you

    worked?

    Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current

    platform . Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As

    you can see I have experience of different platforms ! (Vashi and Andheri

    are the places in Mumbai)

    ****************************************************************************

    Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

    Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German,

    French, Russian and ma! ny other languages.

    *********************************************************************************

    Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

    Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher

    version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new

    language VD!

    **************************************************************************************

    Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

    Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our

    ministers and MPs use in assembly ..

    ************************************************************************

    Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

    Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times

    they are in pipeline!

    ******************************************************************************

    Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

    Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining

    BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was

    another software like Windows.

    **************************************************************************

    Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

    Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I

    can talk a lot. I ! know how to dial for International phone call and use

    speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -

    'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines'

    , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

    *****************************************************************************

    Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

    Candidate: Not much.

    1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

    2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have

    deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

    3. I believe in flexi-timings.

    4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and

    jeans.

    5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to

    avoid breakdown due to overwork.

    6. I wo! uld like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2

    months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But

    considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't

    mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't

    have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

    *****************************************************************************************

    Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our

    organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ..:-)) We look

    forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys :-)


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