Really Funny Jokes

There is a pair of Chartered Accountants who decide to tie the knot. During the marriage ceremony, the wife vomits a few times.

The Husband asks her what is wrong. The wife replies - It's only a Capital gain arising out of a previous partnership.

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what a movie! It continues to break box-office records.

The Pentagon said the movie was far from being realistic, so they turned down all requests to provide military hardware.

They refused to lend tanks until they were given an explanation why the Hulk's pants don't fall off.

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Dara is getting her eye operated & is nervous as hell.

She says to the ophthalmologist "Doctor, I am very scared about operation of my right eye. What are my chances?"

The Doctor consoles her and says, "Nothing to worry, you won't be able to see the difference."

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A high school in NYC made a request to New York Knicks Point Guard Jeremy Lin to give a speech at its graduation ceremony.

The basketball celebrity tried to inspire the kids saying - they can be anything they dream of - at least for two weeks.

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A man is sitting in a restaurant and cannot make up his mind which soup to order. He finally says to the patient waiter, "I think I will have the chicken soup".

The waiter takes the order & is on the way to the kitchen, when the man changes his mind to pea soup. He yells to the waiter "Hold the chicken, make it pea!"