Funny Animals Jokes

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Beware of the Panda

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”

The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”.

It reads: “Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

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Parrot in Jail

Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.

Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui… Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya. Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.

Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.

Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??

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Mosquito and Dog

There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.

One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.

The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.

The next day… Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…

What a touching story!!!

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Funny Hunter

A duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the new to his friends and invited friends to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired and a duck fell.

The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog however did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting wet more than his paws. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?” “I sure did,” responded his friend. “He can’t swim.