There was this case in the hospital's
Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and
on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to
why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a worldwide expert team was
constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate
the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes
before 11a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the
ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all
about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other
holy objects to ward off evil. Just then the clock struck 11 and
then Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward
and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum
cleaner.
A small balding man stormed into a
local bar and demanded, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey
you got! I'm so pissed I can't even see straight!" The bartender,
noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours
him a DOUBLE. The man swilled down the drink and demanded, "Gimme
another ONE!" The bartender pours the drink, but said, "Now,
before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and
tell me WHY you're so upset?" So the man begins his tale: "Well,
I am a salesman for this fancy goose pillows. I got an order and
took several samples to an apartment in this neighborhood. I knock
on the door and this woman opens the door. Now, the lady can't make
up her mind, so she asks me to take the samples to the bedroom and
check them there. As I get into the bedroom I hear some keys jingling,
and SOMEONE starts fumbling with the door." "Well, the
woman says, 'Oh my god, it's my BOYFRIEND. He must have lost his
WRESTLING match today, he's gonna be REAL MAD! He won't believe
that you are just a salesman. Quick, HIDE!' "So, I opened at
the CLOSET, but I figured that was probably the FIRST place he would
look, so I didn't hide there. Then I looked under the bed, but no,
I figured he's bound to look there, too. By now I could hear the
key in the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out
and was hanging there by my FINGERS praying that the guy WOULDN'T
see me." The bartender says, "Well I can see how you might
be a BIT FRUSTRATED at this point." "Well, yeah, but I
hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out, 'Tell me,
who you been seeing now?' The girl said, 'Nobody, honey, now have
a glass of water and calm down.' Well the guy starts TEARING up
the room. I hear him tear the door off the closet and throw it across
the room. I'm thinking, 'Boy, I'm glad I didn't hide in there.'
Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room. Good
thing I didn't hide under there either." "Then I heard
him say, 'What's that over there by the WINDOW?' I think 'Oh boy,
I'm dead meat now'. But the woman by now is trying real hard to
distract him and convince him to stop looking." "Well,
I hear the guy go into the bathroom, and I hear water running for
a long time, and I figure maybe he's gonna take a bath or something,
when all of a sudden the guy pours a pitcher of scalding HOT WATER
out of the window right on top of my head! I mean look at this,
I got second degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders!"
The bartender said, "Oh man, that would have pissed me off
for SURE." "No," the customer replied, "that
didn't really BOTHER me. Next the guy starts slamming the window
shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They're
a bloody mess, I can hardly hold onto this glass." The bartender
looks at the guy's hands and agreed, "Yeah, buddy, I can understand
why you are so UPSET." "No, that WASN'T what really pissed
me off." The bartender then asked in exasperation, "Well,
then, what DID finally piss you off?" "Well I was hanging
there for hours, and I turned around and looked down, and I WAS
ONLY ABOUT 6 INCHES OFF THE GROUND!"
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