You'll forget your English by the
time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a
Bihari candidate at the recent UPSC (IAS) Examinations.
The candidate has written an essay
on the Indian cow.
Indian Cow HE IS THE COW. "The
cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, and because he
is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he is got child].
He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he
has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes
from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses dont have any such
attachment] What canit do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why
and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler,
watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because
he is of lazy species., Also his other motion.. [gober] is much
useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza
], in hand , and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that
extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with
his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly
in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ
is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by
knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled
to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity
forwards. He has got tails also,situated in the backyard, but not
like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his
cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.The palms of his feet
are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At
night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts.
His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.This is the cow.......
The candidate passed the exam and
is now an IAS, in Bihar somewhere, sorry somewhere in Bihar
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