How Intercourse Offenders Lure Our Children

Many parents believe their children face little danger of being abused, that they are too young to be told of the possibility and that discussing the subject will frighten them unnecessa- rily. The fact belie such attitides, “It's like a fire drill,'' says Anita Montero director of YWCA's Child Assault Prevention Services. “You hope the real thing never happens, but if it does, the well prepared child is more likely to survive.'' The key, experts, is to talk with your children in a calm, yet direct manner, using language they can understand.

 

Dr. James Comer, Professor of child psychiatry says that with very young children especially, “you should tell them that most people are good people who do not harm children, But there are also 'bad' or 'sick' people who will'' As a starting point, tell your children that one should touch them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, that each child has a right to keep certain parts of his body private. What general precautions should your child take? Stress “safety in numbers''; ask your child to travel with friends or classmates to school or around the neighbourhood. Emphasize special caution towards drivers of vans; vans have been used in a number of heinous crimes.

Discuss routes the child takes to school. Molesters favour isolated shortcuts that children often use. These should be avoided. My research has revealed that children are often “targeted'' selected by the molester before he moves in. And small children are especially easy prey for any molester who can call the youngster by name. Many parents tag clothes and lunch boxes with the child's name. This allows the molester to be engaging and friendly-disarming the child of apprehension. If you use name tags, place them where they're not apparent to a passing observer.

 

Many victims have described individuals who later violently assaulted them as “weird.'' This description should be a red flag of warning to parents and children. Urge your children to thing about ways of escaping and surviving if abducted. Teach them to counter threats by running and screaming. Most molesters say they will flee if their intended victim runs or calls, :Help!'' A child who follows the threatening person into a car, building or other isolated area through fear or hope that co-operation may save him has lost control of the situation. Then sexual abuse of children is a social time bomb, with the potential for destroying many futures. To stop the victimization of our children, we must educate them. It's every bit as important as the three R's.