Know It.

One-night stands can be explained as sharing of sexual intimacy between two individuals for just one night. Now this intimacy can be between two people madly in love, or two people who just want to comfort themselves, or most of the times between two strangers. The most important factor here is the comfort level two persons share. It is an act done willingly by the people involved.

One-night stands have become very common with the pub-hopping and partying crowd nowadays. It has gained prominence today courtesy to the current world of speed dating, internet passion, cross-over business conferences, parties, youngster night outs, MNC's and to an extent the influence of movies and western culture. It is happening everywhere all over the country, but behind the doors.The city of nawabs is enjoying its own share of one-night stands. With increased migration, more and more singles have been crowding the city all over. The cosmopolitan nature of the city is one of the reasons for one-night affairs.

How can it Happen!?

Many of you must be wondering, how can anyone simply agree to sleep with a person you are not in love with? Well, it is on the spot planning and then it instantly happens. Primarily, alcohol or any such thing that kicks your energy or pleasing level, fuels one-night stand. Drugs can also do the trick. Once you take in one of the two, you are on a high and start feeling that you can do anything. In the meanwhile, if you like someone and that person comes forward and ask you for a night out, you right away agree to it. Or else it could be you making the first move. So once you guys are alone you end up doing all what you only imagined in your wildest of dreams. Some people refer to it as wild evening of passion.

One-night stands are very common among lovers. Nevertheless, peer groups also facilitate it. There is a belief that ‘A girl and a boy cannot remain just good friends’. One-night stands among peers support this belief. When any of your friends belonging to opposite sex is low or very depressed, the foremost thing you would do would be comforting him or her. Initially, you don’t have it on your mind, but just because you can’t see your friend in pain; you are likely to end up having sex with him or her. Accept it or not, we as human beings find much pleasure and comfort in having sex than compared to anything else in the world. Now such one-night stands can sometimes make your friendship bonds stronger or worse, break it. There were these two good friends named Bhargavi and Nikhil. Once when Bhargavi was very upset, Nikhil in order to comfort her smooched her.Bhargavi was aghast. She just left the place. On the next day, Nikhil asked her out for dinner to apologize for what he did. Bhargavi was in a dilemma whether to go or not. But then she finally went. They had dinner. Nikhil also apologized. On the way back home, Bhargavi asked Nikhil to stop the car and then she kissed him. They went ahead and had one-night stand.Next day when they met, Bhargavi thanked him and Nikhil assured her saying that anytime she is low, he will always be there for her. Today, these two are married to two other people. But whenever they are depressed, they use the same solution to get out of it, even today after marriage. It is strange but sometimes one-night stands result in extra-marital affairs. “It’s just that you feel comfy with that person for that single moment”, asserts Bhargavi.

Not only amid friends it can occur among colleagues, your relatives or may be within your social group. As in the case of strangers, they usually meet in parties, pubs or friends get-togethers. Get drunk and if they like someone or are easily impressed, go ahead and sleep around with them. Most of the times people prefer strangers for one night stands, because they don’t want to face the same person again. They want the tale to end in that one night.

Why at all do People Want to do it?

This one-night syndrome can sometimes be disastrous, with young lives left in trauma. What do you think are the chief reasons behind such one-night stands? The chief reasons include psychological, physical, environmental and situational. Mostly, psychologically upset or disturbed people opt for it just to forget their worries and tensions for some time. They look out for people who understand their problems and would lend their shoulders for allay. Such people are often from the peer group. Now coming to physical needs; youngsters belonging to age group of 16-25 years experience sexual urges within them which in turn makes them feel like having sex. Just to experience it, youngsters go ahead and have a one-night affair. For them, it might not be something wrong; it would just be trying out some new trend. These cool lads usually look for people elder to them and whom they have crush on or like. It is just fun for them. There were two neighbors who went to school and tuition together daily. The girl was in 6th standard and the guy in 10th standard. They shared a very cool rapport. One day while coming back from the tuition, the boy just caught hold of the girl and smooched her. She was shaken and ran home. Though nothing much happened between the two, but it was something big for an 11-year-old girl who looked up to the guy as an elder brother. She was so taken aback that she didn’t go to school for a week. She didn’t share this with her mom also since she was scared. It was not a night, but a horrifying evening.

Environment is one of the major influencing factors. Living in an environment where people from your social and peer group are pretty cool about things like dating, going around, sleeping around or having affairs outside their relationships can affect your mindset in the same way. You tend to start believing that all these things are not immoral, but fundas that you should also try. I don’t mean to say that it is right or wrong. It is just that you get influenced and the fault is not all yours.

Finally, the term situational is very tricky. Each one of us face different kinds of situations at every point of our lives. One only knows well what situation lead him or her to such one-night incidences. Most of the times people simply live that moment and forget about it the next day like a movie.

Youngsters by and large want to experience one-night stands; I have already mentioned the reason for it before. It is also observed in middle-aged and old- aged people. In short, youngsters do it for experience and fun, middle-aged people to forget their worries and sometimes to beat loneliness and the old-aged persons for pleasure. Some people are habituated to it, to an extent where they wouldn't hesitate asking their relatives for it. I know it sounds yuck, but believe me this happens. Incidences among relatives happen in family gatherings like weddings or celebration of festivals. Once there was this huge family gathering in one family, many guests came. Due to lack of place to sleep in the night, one of the aunts who was around 32 years slept in her 20 year old nephew’s room. Both chatted for a long time and then the aunt started seducing the boy. Since boy was in his adolescence, got tempted and totally forgot about the relation that exist between the two. The two went slept together and next morning behaved as if nothing had happened between them. They were pretty cool about the one-night stand they had. So guys its all happening here but furtively.

Where can one find place to do it?

Usually hotels, guesthouses, resorts or a friend’s place that is a bachelor or spinster are chosen for such activities.

Is it Cool?

The affect and repercussions of one-night stands are worse. Actually it differs from person to person, what did he or she think about that one-night stand. If two individuals do it for fun, then they are cool and just forget about it the next day. But if one of the individuals mistakes it for the love of other and then realizes that it was mere fun for the other, the consequences are tragic. He or she thinks that they did a sin and goes into depression. He or she feels very guilty. They regret it for their entire life. They start losing trust on feelings like love and people. They break down emotionally. You never know these upset souls could end their lives or land in another one-night stand with one of their friend. Apart from mental torture, there are other impacts of this one-night syndrome. Sexually transmitted diseases are one important thing that needs attention. It is not very wise to get infected with vulnerable diseases in exchange of one night pleasure. Some people would say we have safe sex; let me remind you guys out there condoms are not 100% safe. They are only 97% safe. For boys it is still safe, but for girls the risk of pregnancy exists. One out of 10 sexual relationships result in pregnancy.

Often people remorse these one-night stands in their lives. I feel, why do something in life for which you have to regret later? It is better to not get involved in such things only. This is not an advice but few wisdom bites that will prevent you from doing things that you might regret later. But if you think, you can carry it or forget about it, then go ahead. If you want to avoid it, then few precautions are given below that one should keep in mind.

I am sure if all these things are taken care off well, then you will never go wrong anywhere.

The Final Verdict

To sum it up, it is just a subliminal circle where two people just have fun and forget about it. The ultimate goal is satisfaction and not relationship.
Youngsters today, are influenced by the western culture a lot. They feel west is cool and its culture helps them grow better. Where do you think India is heading? The current status of AIDS in India is bad and one-night stands will simply accelerate it. Recent studies show AP as one of the severely AIDS affected states of India.

Do you think one-night stands are safer options? Would you tolerate it as a spouse or a parent? Do you think one-night stands should be told to the spouse for safe and protected life? Have moral values and customs become mere words today?

Views

Mehak Seth, a psychology student: Well, it is not a good idea. With the rise in spread of AIDS around the world, one-night stands are a dangerous bargain for a night’s pleasure. It is absolutely a dumb idea. Also, it is not morally right, since sleeping with someone who you don’t love is disgusting. It is a personal thing and one cannot sleep around with as many as one wants. If people say one-night stands are meant to satisfy desperation then these guys need to be told that there are other ways to meet your desperation level. Desperation is just an excuse for one-night stands is all I would say.

David Luke, working in a call center:One-night stands cannot be categorized whether they are morally right or wrong. One-night stands just happen by chance. It totally depends upon the circumstances. Sometimes, one-night stands give rise to new relationships. It is very situational and differs from individual to individual. Each of us would like to mingle around with good-looking people and so at times we land in situations like these. Physical attraction plays a major role here. But one important thing a person needs to keep in mind is that, one-night stands should not be done without proper protection. Afterall, safety is the foremost thing.