Funny Medical Quotes

* “There must be something to acupuncture. After all, you never see any sick porcupines!” – Bob Goddard.

* “The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.” – John Chiene

* “I’m not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.” – Groucho Marx

* “A psychiatrist is a man who goes to a strip club and watches the audience.”- Merv Stockwood.

* “Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.” – Jerry Vale

* “I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.” – Spike Milligan

* The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure.” – Voltaire

* “She got her looks from her father: He’s a plastic surgeon.” -Groucho Marx.

* “For the majority of people smoking has a beneficial effect.” – Dr Ian MacDonald (1963)

* “Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.” – Samuel Goldwyn.

* “I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation.” – Jeffrey Bernard