Wife and Husband Funny Jokes

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain?" said the counsellor. "You're still getting the same service!"

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Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
"Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."

but there iz no reply.....

He sent another text,
"And I forgot to tell you that I getting an increment in my salary at the end of the month
I'm getting you a new car"

this time ,
She textd back, "OMG really?"

Husband replied, :
"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message"

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A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.

He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. SO...