Just Clean Jokes

The Laws of Philosophy

The First Law of Philosophy. For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

The Second Law of Philosophy. They're both wrong.

Family Feud Fumbles

Great Wrong Answers

Name an occupation where you need a flashlight - A burglar

Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse

Something you do before going to bed - Sleep

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings

Something you might be allergic to - Skiing

Something you do in the bathroom - Decorate

A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee

Poor Actor

A poor actor was having trouble paying his rent. One morning his landlady caught him in front of the building and demanded her money.

"Couldn't you please give me a break?" begged the actor.

"You know, one day people will pass by this building, point up, and say 'One of the greatest actors of our generation used to live here'."

"If you don't pay up," said the landlady, "they could be saying that tomorrow."

Reasonable Rates

A man walked into a lawyer's office.

"What are your rates?" he asked.

"Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer replied.

"Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked.

"Yes," the lawyer replied.

"Now, what's your third question?"