Funny Psychiatrist Jokes

The psychiatrist, informed the husband of one of his patients: “I am sorry to have to tell you that your wife’s mind is gone.”
“I am not surprised”, replied the husband. “She has been giving me a piece of it every day.”

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A man said to his psychiatrist, “Doctor, you have got to help me. I am sure I am losing my memory. I can’t remember anything, not
even what happened yesterday.”
“How long have you had this problem?”
“What problem?”

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A wife complained to the psychiatrist, “My husband always thinks of his money only”.
“I will soon have it out”, consoled the doctor.

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Once Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru was invited to visit a mental hospital. He said to one of the inmates, “I am Jawaharlal Nehru.
Have you any complaints to make?”
The mad person replied, “Whoever comes here tells he is Jawaharlal Nehru or Gandhi. I am sure you will get well soon”.

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A mad person dialed the local Mental Hospital number and asked, “Is the inmate in room no. 27 present?”
Answer: “No”
The mad person spoke to himself: “It means then, I have escaped”.

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Said the new patient to the Psychotherapist: “I came to see you because pictures of nudes in the magazines are making me
nervous.”
“Are you a puritan?” asked the doctor.
“No. I am a clothing manufacturer.”