Before And After Marriage

Before - You take my breath away.

After - I feel like I'm suffocating.

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.

After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.

Before - Saturday Night Fever

After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop.

After - Don't start.

Before - Is that all you're having?

After - Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.

Before- $60/doz.

After - $1.50/stem

Before- We agree on everything.

After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Victoria's Secret

After - Fruit-of-the-Loom

Before - Charming and Noble

After - Chernobyl

Before - Idol

After - Idle

Before - I love a woman with curves.

After - I never said you were fat.

Before - He's completely lost without me.

After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still.

After - This relationship is going nowhere.

Before - Croissant and cappuccino

After - Bagel and instant

Before - You look so seductive in black.

After - Your clothes are so depressing.

Before- Oysters After - Fishsticks

After - I can hardly believe we found each other.

Before - Passion

After - Ration

Before - Once upon a time

After - The end