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Funny Judges Jokes

Funny Judges Jokes

The judge was soft and gentle. “Have you ever been sent to prison?”
“No” the accused cried, tears running down his cheeks, “No, your Honor.”
“Don’t cry,” said the judge compassionately, “You are going there now.”


Judge: “You say that you had actually pulled the gun on him yet you did not fire. Why?”

Accused: “Well judge, when I pointed my pistol at him, he said: “How much you want for that gun? I ask you sir, could I kill a man when he was taking business?


A judge felt to reprimand the defendant and pronounced him a scoundrel. Boldly, the prisoner spoke up, saying: “Sir, I’m not as big a scoundrel as Your Honor” Here he paused and looked hard at the judge, then added:”…takes me to be.”
Shaking a finger at him, the Judge said: “Put your words closer together.”


Judge to the Prosecution counsel: “Yes, you are correct”.
“A little latter, Judge to the Defending counsel, “Yes, yes, you are right.”
The jury got furious and said to the Judge, “Sir, you are telling both the parties that they are right. We think you are wrong.”
Judge to the Jury, “Yes, you are also right.”