It;s Okay,'' said Carol, with disappointment in her voice. “It's not okay, Carol. It's our anniver- sary,'' Paul replied. “But there's no way out of it. You know how important a client she is. I'll try and cut it as short as possible.'' At 6pm Paul searched the hotel lounge. “Attention Mr. Paul Hayes,'' a bellboy called. “You're supposed to go to Room 1404,'' he explained. Paul wondered what the devil his client was up to. “Comein.'' a sultry voice beckoned when he knocked at the door. Paul saw a raven-haired woman in black satin, with here back to him. She then turned slowly and dramatically. “Carol! What are you doing here?'' “Happy anniversary!'' She couldn't hold back the laughter when she saw his face. “I planned the surprise with your secretary. The children are at Mother's and we have the entire night here!'' Still laughing, she kissed him. Carol had, in fact, found one answer to the questions women consistently aks. “How can I keep interested?'' “How can I keep a relationship alive and exciting year after year?'' By reading many books and interviewing scores of couples who have truly intimate relationships – and many who don't – I have found some of the keys to a successful relationship. Having a vibrant, long-term relationship requires :
1 Honesty : You slam the door on the possibility of a meaningful relationship by lying or pretend- ing. If you're faking sexual satis- faction or trying to please your husband by telling him what you think he wants to hear, you're on the wrong track. Preserving the emotional status quo is an insidious trap that many of us fall into. Rather than doing anything that will rock the relationship, many women hold on to patterns that are routine and boring. Love making, vacations, dinner-table conversation become predicta- ble, unprovocative and antisep- tic. If you think you're “pleasing your partner'' by not saying what you want or feel – or saying what you think he wants to hear – you're making a mistake. “At the heart of true intimacy is the truth,'' says a man who cherishes the honesty of his 18-year marriage.
2 Time : - We live in an enormously stressful world where everyone is hurried and worried, and if the moment comes to let the day's worries dissolve, many of us do so by watching television instead of talking with each other in a loving, intimate way. Many people spend more time on reading, or day-dreaming about an exciting relationship than on cultivating one. It can't be said often enough that making love takes time. Spontaneity is a terrific stimulant, but given the realities of the average household, it is clear that planning for lovemaking is almost a necessity. Experts say that taking the time to plot a rendezvous, far from inhibiting sexuality, can actually kindle it. Planned lovemaking can become something to look forward to. Some More Important Points in Next Episode ...