I still remember my first kiss. Sloppy, intrusive, thrusting into thin air like a blunted sword, until a resounding wallop on his shoulder let me regain possession of my violated oral cavity. I was sure I would never permit it to happen again because of the bad taste that kiss left me with. Well, it did happen again. Eventually, I learned to grin and bear it, sometimes to even respond with what passed as ardor. There are so many intimacy manuals, videos, and counseling courses.

As a result, any boy who has touched adolescence can write a how- to guide about everything from the courting stage to preparations for the wedding night. However what most men know about kissing is the French kiss and the cheek kiss. It stops there. It is the classic Mars-Venus problem: men view kissing as a necessary precursor to the real thing, while women consider it the ‘thing’ itself. A kiss is a magical notion for a woman– it holds the promise of love and not of base carnal acts. As silly, as it sounds, women presume to be able to judge a man’s character from the way he kisses. A kiss, thus, is that important to a woman! Hence, it is a good idea to educate men on secrets of kissing. You would want your kiss not to just to be delicious but to make that moment a memorable one.

1. Your tongue is not an explorer of Amazon forests Avoid thrusting forays into her mouth with your tongue. Not only does that make you seem demanding, women also think of the tongue as an overt phallic symbol, so flourish it too freely while kissing and she will get the right wrong idea about your intentions. By the way, tongue kissing is an absolute no-no if you are kissing her for the first time. An easy rule of thumb is only to use your tongue when you feel her tongue in your mouth.

2. Her mouth is not a barbecued leg of chicken Clamping your mouth greedily over hers will make you seem like a glutton. Instead, you might distinguish yourself from the hoi polloi if you think of her mouth as an ice-cream cone. Gentle does it. Ease yourself, go with the flow, and do what seems right in the moment. Gentle, with your eyes closed, and she will not be able to think coherently.

3. Her lips are not made of pliable rubber. Yes, kisses are sometimes wet and slobbery. However, that only happens when you have been kissing for more than five minutes. Before that, wet kisses only feel sloppy. Besides, lappy kisses only make you seem needy and definitely does not give a good impression.

4. Physical proximity and access to her mouth are not valid reasons to grope her Your body language while kissing should show her that you respect her body. Holding her around the waist is okay, but LOOSELY is the key word. Brownie points if she pulls you closer or snuggles into you. Other than this, you have no access to any place below her neck.

5. Ease in for the kiss instead of invading her private space Think of a kiss as a waltz—the man takes lead, but he must be attuned to his partner’s wishes. Though assertiveness is a plus point, every woman is different. Why rush into a kiss when you can tease her out of her come-hither coyness? Kiss the corners of her mouth instead. Bite her earlobe. Get close, but not close enough…there is a ten to one chance that she will make the first move. Even if she does not, she has plenty of time to guess your intentions and pull away if the timing is not right! I am perfectly aware that the type of kissing I am suggesting here is of the romantic kind, not of the overbearing, grope-y kind. However, I figured that you would already know how to engage in that kind of kissing. This is how you do it if you want to make a lasting impression.