Caresses play a big part in every sexual episode, even those in which the wife participate through loving service with little or no hope of passionate reward. Almost every marriage required such episodes at times, when the male sexpace exceeds the female or emotional upset disturbs wifely responsiveness. After a few years, both parties know almost instantly when there's no chance of making it mutual. The man shifts his caresses to gentle stroking and titillation of the inner lips and vulva, aimed mainly at helping his wife to relax and become lubircated by natural gland function. The wife ideally directs her caresses at maintaining her husband's excitement and (once she is lubricated and relaxed) speeding his build-up of excitement, aiming to give him full satisfaction without unduly long exertion. Caresses improve your expressive capacity and contribute to both your own and your partner's enjoyment.
A man's sexual sensitivity is con- centrated largely in his genitals. His own insensitivity to caresses of the arms, legs and back makes it hard for him to realize the widespread body stimula- tions prove quite exciting to his wife. Gentle stroking of the lower legs, climbing gradually to the hips and thighs, may prove a much more apt beginning of sex play than the usual kiss or embrace. Similar petting of the hands, arms and shoulders reaches the breasts just as certainly as the usual neckline approach. Such a beginning generally proves quite apt in marriage, where sex often starts after both partners have donned loose-fitting night attire, but couples who pattern their love play after the patterns of courtship seldom stumble upon it, peripheral caress works out particularly well if you enjoy stroking and explorations or kisses and caresses of easily accessible parts can overlap with the refreshment-and-conversation phase, getting sexual excitement off to a good start before your lips even meet.
The lightest, most fleeting touch on your lips or tongue generally commands attention. Moreover, the surfaces inside your mouth remail sheltered from firction most of the time. Like a bright light this makes any stimulation seem more keen by contrast. Even a puff of air or the tissue movement caused by slight titillates these supersensitive nerves, and very light contact suffices for most forms of kissing and tongue caress.
As sexual excitement builds, parted lips afford opportunities for gentle friction between the inner surfaces of the lips and for advance and retreat explorations with the tongue tip. Full open mouth contact allows other varieties of play, such as tongue to tongue friction, titillating tongue caresses of the inner lip surfaces and roof of the mouth, and gentle nipping of the lips. If you have not perviously tried the more intensive forms of mouth play, you will probably find that the best time for early experimentation is during intercourse itself. A high pitch of sexual excitement makes acceptable many forms of stimulation which might seem dubious or even repulsive in a state of calm. If you and your partener find open-mouth kissing keenly pleasurable when you are fully excited, the practice will seem appropriate earlier and earlier in future sexual episodes, until it becomes an important part of initial excitement-generating play. Caresses you use in moments of keen mutual passion become linked in your minds with sexual excitement and love.