When my doctor blithely told me six weeks after my first child was born that I could “resume sexual relationships as usual.'' I felt angry. Sex as usual? Life as usual? He had to be joking! My husband and I love our daughter dearly, but her arrival turned our lived upside down. Suddenly all our usual ways of doing things- even the way we felt about each other – had to be altered. Children can bring great joy to a marriage, and they deserve our love and attention. But there is great harm in boxing ourselves into a role of “sexless servants of children.'' We mistakenly thing that the children of course can't take care of theselves, but that the marriage can.
When time together as a couple is at the bottom of the priority list, not only do we suffer, but our children suffer too. You can have passion in your love life again if you strike a happy balance between your needs and those of your children. Begin by acknowledging that you are lovers as well as parents. Staying lovers with your spouse is, in fact, essential to keeping harmony in the family. “Romance, on the scale of human needs, may not rank quite as high as food or shelter'' writes author. “But it does not fall much further down – it's one of the things we live for.'' It's easy to forget this. When we become parents, many of us suddenly feel we must be serious, no-nonsense people. But who doesn't desire a little zip in marriage? To create that romance, that spart, the key element is surprise.My husband often makes business trips out of town.We hate to say good-bye and always miss each other. During one trip I was wondering hou I could somehow touch him so far away.
Excitement Investment :-
Suddenly an idea struck, and I called the concierge at his hotel. When my husband walked into his room, the first thig he say was a bottle of wine, a fruit basket and my love note, which said I hope he'd had a nice flight and how much I cared. He was deeply appreciative and not about to be outdone. The next day, I received an airline ticket and a note asking me to spend the week-end with him. My heart soared as I thought of the possibilities. But my brain kept bringing me down to earch: Can I get a baby-sitter on such short notice? I wondered. How can we spend the money so frivolously? Finally, I let my heart do the talking. I called our baby-sitter and told myself that the money was an investment in my marriage, and ultimately in my family. The excitement my husband and I generated from pulling off our tryst was the thrilling as the “high'' we felt when we first fell in love.