Funny Love Jokes

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Two friends are discussing the possibility of love.

"I thought I was in love three times," one friend says.

"How so?" his friend asks.

"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks.

"No," he replies.

"That was obsession. And then two years ago I deeply cared for an

attractive woman who didn't understand me."

"Was that not love?"

"No," he replies.

"That was lust. And just last year I met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the

Caribbean. She was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And

everywhere I followed her on that boat, I would get this strange sensation

in the pit of my stomach."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks.

"No," he replies.

"That was motion sickness."

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man

marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with

her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after

dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

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Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and

whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”

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Kids Talk About Love

"What does love mean?" These are answers from 4 to 8 year olds.

When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe

nails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when

his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just

know that your name is safe in their mouths. Billy - age 4

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne

and they go out and smell each other. Kari - age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french

fries without making them give you any of theirs. Chrissy - age 6

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Terri - age 4

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip

before giving it to him to make sure the taste is OK. Danny - age 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and my daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. Emily - age 8

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. Bobby - age 7

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Nikki - age 6

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day. Noelle - age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy - age 6

During my piano recital, I was on stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. Cindy - age 8

My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. Clare - age 6

Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken. Elaine - age 5

Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. Chris - age 7

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. Mary Ann - age 4

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you. Karen - age 7 Y

ou really shouldn't say "I LOVE YOU" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. Jessica - age 8

And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife.

When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the man's lap and just sat there.

When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."