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Funny Interview Jokes

 Funny Interview Jokes

(Read it and enjoy)

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Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Kondesh Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication

engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

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Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never

heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission

into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th.I

was getting a paid seat in a good college.

But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of

money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on

you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao

Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

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Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your

engineering.

Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know ,

these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments..It is

difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 +

2 = 7 years.

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Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to

keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really

affect exams a lot. I think they ! should ban it.

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Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

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Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought

I would complete it.

In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in

BEST(Bus corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative...

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Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself

was so much of pain!!

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Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you

worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current

platform . Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As

you can see I have experience of different platforms ! (Vashi and Andheri

are the places in Mumbai)

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Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German,

French, Russian and ma! ny other languages.

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Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher

version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new

language VD!

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Interviewer : Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate : Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our

ministers and MPs use in assembly ..

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Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times

they are in pipeline!

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Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining

BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was

another software like Windows.

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Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I

can talk a lot. I ! know how to dial for International phone call and use

speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -

'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines'

, 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

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Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have

deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and

jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off also, so as to

avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I wo! uld like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2

months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But

considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't

mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and don't

have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

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Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our

organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. ..:-)) We look

forward to working with you .. welcome to Infosys :-)